We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
