I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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