Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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