I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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