They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
