But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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