I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
