After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
