Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.