Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.

Fav 3 955 1434
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me

Fav 37 1026 3260
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.

Fav 32 4638 1142
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.

(860): View more from Connecticut

what did you do?

(203): View more from Connecticut

i asked her out. that's so hot.

Fav 56 10019 1269
share tweet
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(614): View more from Ohio

how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.

Fav 19 5002 1913
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"

Fav 44 4231 1705
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.

Fav 2 3129 1166
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(781): View more from Massachusetts

also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.

Fav 1 642 470
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(305): View more from Florida

Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.

Fav 1 150 81
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT