Texts From Last Night

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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha

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  (479): he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha http://tfl.nu/2icp
  Replies (19) Good night (1157) Bad night (2271)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl

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  (440): i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe. (440): I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl http://tfl.nu/33bi
  Replies (25) Good night (6815) Bad night (816)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

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  (210): By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE http://tfl.nu/98pz
  Replies (32) Good night (9334) Bad night (1129)
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  (925): View more from California

  i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit

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  (925): i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit http://tfl.nu/r71a
  Replies (46) Good night (5158) Bad night (1151)
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  (707): View more from California

  he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting

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  (707): he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting http://tfl.nu/k7m6
  Replies (78) Good night (9794) Bad night (1768)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?

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  (402): So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy? http://tfl.nu/0629
  Replies (44) Good night (6258) Bad night (1554)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  If i need to get strippers involved i will.

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  (414): If i need to get strippers involved i will. http://tfl.nu/3tx8
  Replies (17) Good night (3456) Bad night (963)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?

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  (712): You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you? http://tfl.nu/pa4x
  Replies (11) Good night (789) Bad night (1802)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.

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  (603): playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on. http://tfl.nu/nhak
  Replies (8) Good night (1631) Bad night (751)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.

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  (248): We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land. http://tfl.nu/euer
  Replies (6) Good night (1897) Bad night (611)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is

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  (306): For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is http://tfl.nu/ppgp
  Replies (8) Good night (878) Bad night (431)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  this st patricks day sucks

  (815): View more from Illinois

  ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles

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  (630): this st patricks day sucks (815): ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles http://tfl.nu/aosd
  Replies (1) Good night (629) Bad night (406)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.

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  (651): god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again. (508): I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended. http://tfl.nu/x893
  Replies (2) Good night (525) Bad night (357)
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  (213): View more from California

  I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.

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  (213): I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever. http://tfl.nu/344l
  Replies (1) Good night (1021) Bad night (362)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.

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  (770): just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories. http://tfl.nu/1xk0
  Replies (0) Good night (355) Bad night (224)

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