Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?

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  (540): is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO? http://tfl.nu/qgse
  Replies (3) Good night (707) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  either way. win, win.

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  (810): My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches. (1-810): either way. win, win. http://tfl.nu/dnjj
  Replies (37) Good night (3182) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.

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  (804): remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt. http://tfl.nu/2ukp
  Replies (9) Good night (703) Bad night (3273) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds

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  (702): I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/4g7g
  Replies (9) Good night (994) Bad night (2812) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.

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  (815): Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight. http://tfl.nu/jud2
  Replies (14) Good night (4944) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.

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  (985): I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me. http://tfl.nu/zadb
  Replies (11) Good night (4026) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?

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  (225): is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off? http://tfl.nu/2g62
  Replies (81) Good night (4146) Bad night (5305) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though

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  (817): Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though http://tfl.nu/u94q
  Replies (16) Good night (7053) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.

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  (352): One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday. http://tfl.nu/0mor
  Replies (8) Good night (2508) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?

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  (314): At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving? http://tfl.nu/o7j4
  Replies (10) Good night (4210) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.

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  (561): well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/wjgp
  Replies (10) Good night (641) Bad night (1657)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.

  (909): View more from California

  Whaaaaaat? No way.

  (206): View more from Washington

  Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.

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  (206): The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag. (909): Whaaaaaat? No way. (206): Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier. http://tfl.nu/t9qj
  Replies (16) Good night (472) Bad night (1802)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule

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  (863): I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule http://tfl.nu/m3mw
  Replies (3) Good night (933) Bad night (404) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.

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  (724): I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over. http://tfl.nu/3u0b
  Replies (7) Good night (1346) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....

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  (989): I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants.... http://tfl.nu/17h8
  Replies (1) Good night (658) Bad night (158) Order T-Shirt

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