And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?