Are we in a gay sports bar?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
