did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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