You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
