You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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