I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize