yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize