Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
