Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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