i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
