We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
