So drunk its hurt
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
