Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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