i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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