I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
