I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
