the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
