Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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