i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
