I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
