How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
