I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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