well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
