Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
