Do you still have your period?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
