yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize