please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize