we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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