He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
