the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
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She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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