"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
