And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just blew my weed a kiss
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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