turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
