Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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