your thong is hanging out like whoa
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
