I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
