She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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