i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
