after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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