To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
