Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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