I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
