You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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