you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like eating out sand paper
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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