i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night