We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
whose parrot is this?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.