FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.