I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
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I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
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You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are