I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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