Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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