she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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