East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
