you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
