WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
