So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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